Your Significant Other Got a Job Cross-Country: Move In or Move On?

The circumstances of life tend to steadily rock the boat whether you want them to or not, and your bond tends to largely come down to how the two of you choose to respond to those situational and environmental challenges. So, what happens when one of you receives a job offer in a different city or state?
There are a number of things in life that you conventionally view as difficult. Career building, owning a home, paying bills, packing and moving –they’re certainly no walk in the park. However, what about those difficult things for everyone that scarcely ever get brought up?

The notion that personal relationships are all biscuits and gravy may be one of the most common misconceptions around—in fact, they can often prove to be the most emotionally demanding and uniquely challenging aspects of your life, with all those token responsibilities you associate with stress seemingly taking a back seat.

At the end of the day, it’s never easy to keep an interpersonal relationship sailing smoothly, be it a committed boyfriend or girlfriend, or even a marriage of 10 years—anyone with enough experience will quickly tell you it’s a full time job in and of itself.

The circumstances of life tend to steadily rock the boat whether you want them to or not, and your bond tends to largely come down to how the two of you choose to respond to those situational and environmental challenges. So, what happens when one of you receives a job offer in a different city or state?

 

The Challenge of Moving

Balancing a successful career with a healthy personal life will almost always prove to be a double edged sword. However, it’s important to keep in mind that a successful career will almost always equal a demanding career—if one or both of you are at a point in life where you’re experiencing tumultuous demands and offers from your respective career paths, it generally means that things are going very well. As difficult as it may be, it’s important not to take the possibility of uprooting personally.

If you’re not the one receiving a long distance offer, start off by sincerely contemplating how you’d feel if you were in the same position. In all likelihood, your best bet will be to be as supportive as possible and factor the potential migration into the possibilities for your future, though it’s more than understandable that this isn’t an easy task.

 

The Challenge of Staying

Problems can definitely arise in the event that one person in the relationship is happy with the career in their current city, and the other one still yearns for a new place. The truth is that these challenges aren’t easy, and often don’t have a clear solution in place that can be used as reference—lots and lots of honest communication will be key (and not much else.)

Life often has the unfortunate quality of forcing you to acknowledge which of your priorities are truly the most important. You may be happy where you’re at, but would you be willing to apply for jobs in a new city and start over for the sake of maintaining the relationship you’re currently in? Try not to let pride get in the way, and decide what’s most important to you as objectively as possible.

Even if a career-based move means that the two of you end up separate for a few months, it can sincerely mean good things for a healthy relationship in the long term. If both parties are willing to make it work, moving to a new city will end up being the least of your concerns.

Categories: Moving Tips