Making new friends is one of the fastest ways to help your child adjust after a move. While maintaining ties with old friends is important, finding local kids to connect and socialize with not only relieves feelings of loneliness, but also fosters a sense of normalcy that helps them settle into their new community. For parents preparing for a relocation or who have recently arrived in a new city, here is some practical advice to help your kids find their feet and make new friends.
What Can You Do Before the Move to Make Friendships Easier?
Research your new neighborhood before you leave, to see what type of activities, programs, and recreational facilities it has. You might find:
- Parks
- Playgrounds
- Libraries
- Sports Leagues
- Youth Clubs
- Rec Centers
Once you know what options are available, discuss them with your child. Find out which ones appeal to them and ask whether they’d like to continue pursuing old hobbies or maybe explore some new ones. Getting them involved helps reduce their anxiety by encouraging them to imagine life in their new town.
Look into local parents groups as well. Websites such as Facebook and Meetup are great ways to connect with other families in the area and gain valuable insight into neighborhood schools, festivities, and opportunities for your kids to get out and have fun with other children.
How to Help Kids Make Friends After Moving: 4 Proven Strategies
Settling into a new home takes a while, especially for children. There are new sights, new sounds, and new spaces to explore, so give your kids some time to adjust. Help them set up their room, establish a routine, and get familiar with their new surroundings.
Children feel more confident when they have a “secure base” they can return to each day, so don’t think you have to start scheduling activities as soon as you arrive. A gradual approach will help them acclimate to their new environment and make them more confident when they start building their social circle. When the time is right:
1. Say “Hi” to the Neighbors
Visit the other houses on the block with your kids and introduce yourselves. While many people find the idea of walking up to a strange house intimidating, there’s no reason to be scared. Most people are happy to meet their neighbors, though bringing a treat to break the ice never hurts.
This is not only a great way to integrate yourself into your new community, it also gives your kids a chance to meet other children living nearby, making it easier for them to connect and play together later on.
2. Get Involved at School
Meet with your child’s new teacher or principal before the first day of school and talk to them about your kid’s interests, background, and any concerns. They’ll fill you in on upcoming events, tell you how to register for extracurricular activities, and give you practical advice on how to navigate life at school.
If the school has a homeroom ambassador, find out how to connect with them. If you can arrange a face-to-face meeting, even better. That way, your child will know at least one of their classmates when they arrive on their first day.
3. Visit Your Community Center
Community centers host a wide range of classes and programs based around specific interests: sports, music, games, hiking, arts and crafts, etc. Joining an interest group is one of the easiest ways for kids to make friends. All the participants already have something in common!
4. Spend Time Outside
One good strategy is to take your kids out to explore some popular gathering spots for kids and teenagers (playgrounds, skate parks, shopping centers, gaming stores, etc.). Once you spot another group of children, step back and give them space. Though their initial encounter might be awkward, kids normally find their own rhythm and knowing you’re nearby will help reduce some of the social anxiety that might have tripped them up otherwise.
Tips for Helping Kids Make Friends by Age
Every parent knows kids socialize differently at different ages and what works at one stage might not be effective a few years later. If you’re wondering how to help your children make friends after a move, here are a few useful suggestions for each age group.
Toddlers and Preschoolers (Ages 2-5)
With young kids, parents need to take the lead. At this age, children not only rely on you to meet new people, but to build their social skills. To encourage their development:
- Visit local play spaces, such as parks, libraries, and children’s museums
- Model friendly behavior
- Praise friendly behavior
- Talk to them about their feelings
- Use calm words to resolve conflict
Play dates are another great way to help them make friends. You can:
- Play group games, like “Simon Says” or “Follow the Leader”
- Organize group projects, like painting or making bubbles
- Go on nature walks
- Ride bikes or tricycles
Experts recommend keeping activities between 60-90 minutes, to match your child’s attention span. Unstructured play, where children are free to choose their toys and which activities to engage in, is also important at this age.
It boosts creativity, empathy, and gross motor skills while also teaching them important lessons about sharing, patience, and negotiation—so don't think every playdate has to be planned down to the last detail. Sometimes letting kids decide what to do is the best way to help them bond with other children.
Elementary Schoolers (Ages 6-10)
By the time they enter elementary school, kids don’t need parents to arrange every interaction for them. Instead, they need opportunities to play and connect with other children. Parents can help by:
- Enrolling their children in group activities like sports leagues, scouting programs, and art classes
- Teaching them simple invitations like “Can I play?” or “Do you want to come over?”
- Giving them ideas for activities they can suggest to other kids
- Organizing playdates, get-togethers, and slumber parties when asked
Because their social skills are still developing, parents should also emphasize the importance of reciprocity in friendships. This includes:
- Taking turns
- Listening
- Showing interest
- Compromising
- Apologizing
A broad social circle helps kids develop interpersonal skills and leads to greater happiness and well-being, but children who only spend time with a few people don’t necessarily need help being more social. However, if your kid tries and fails to enter a group, they might benefit from more deliberate coaching. Introducing them to kids outside their normal social circle might help as well.
Tweens (Ages 11-13)
At this age, the best way to make friends is to focus on extracurriculars and interest-based clubs. Youth sports, study groups, and camps are also great opportunities. Parents can also:
- Encourage kids to socialize in small groups, where it's easier to connect with people
- Provide transportation, so they can meet and socialize with their peers
- Teach them how to identify kids who might like to hang out with them
- Provide advice on navigating cliques and disagreements
By the time they enter middle school, kids are developing their own lives and want more control over who they spend time with. As a result, they might not want to share the details of every interaction, so focus on being supportive rather than pressing them for an in-depth account of their friendships.
Teenagers (Ages 14-18)
The best way to help your teenager make friends is to find spaces where they can interact with the same group on a regular basis. This includes:
- After-school clubs
- Sports teams
- Volunteer groups
- Music and theater groups
- Gaming groups
Part-time jobs are another opportunity for kids to socialize. Swimming pools, movie theaters, ice cream shops, and fast-food restaurants often hire teenagers, making them an easy place to make friends after a move. If they mention someone they like, encourage them to hang out. Suggest inviting them over to dinner, to a movie, or some other fun activity. Sometimes a little push is enough to get the ball rolling.
How to Help a Shy or Anxious Child Make Friends
Not every kid is a social butterfly. Some are quiet and nervous around strangers. To help them break out of their shell:
- Avoid big groups. Arrange playdates with 1-2 children instead.
- Focus on structured activities. Enrolling them in clubs and classes centered on a specific interest will help them navigate social situations.
- Acknowledge their feelings. Let them know that many people feel uneasy when meeting people.
- Avoid labels. Introducing your child as “shy” can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and isolation.
- Practice at home. Rehearse introductions, explain how to ask questions, and talk through scenarios they might encounter at school or in a social setting.
- Set friendship goals. A concrete milestone like “talk to a classmate” or “ask to participate in a game” often helps motivate kids.
Children tend to imitate what they see, so be mindful of how you act around new people. A friendly, relaxed, and helpful attitude gives your child a model for their own interactions.
Signs Your Child Is Struggling to Adjust (and When to Get Help)
Not every child’s transition is a smooth one. While every child experiences some degree of loneliness and homesickness after a big move, they normally fade as your kid adjusts to their new environment, though not in every case. Keep an eye out for signs your child is having trouble fitting in and making friends, such as:
- No mention of other kids
- Spending all their free time alone
- Refusing to go to school
- Declining grades
- Anxiety around other children
- Withdrawn, irritable, or unhappy behavior
Kids who are having trouble connecting with other children often spend a lot of time talking or messaging with old friends to help them cope. While keeping in touch with old friends is healthy, overreliance on them may indicate that they’re finding it difficult to connect with children in their new community.
Leaning into the strategies listed above is normally a good way to dispel these feelings and help your kid find their niche. However, if these issues persist for more than a few months, they might be a symptom of an underlying anxiety problem. In that case, consider talking to their teacher, a counselor or pediatrician for advice.
Remember that not every child needs a wide social circle to be happy. Many are content with a small group of close acquaintances and don’t feel the need to hang out with people outside their core group. If your kid is pleased with their current social circle, there’s no need to help them make more friends unless they want to.
Start Your Family's Next Chapter on the Right Foot
North American has been helping families move and settle into new homes for nearly a century. Our full-service relocation teams handle everything from planning to packing to shipping, storage, and final delivery. We take care of the heavy lifting so you can spend less time worrying about the move and more time enjoying this exciting new chapter with your family. Contact us today for a free quote!
FAQs
When is the best time of the year to move?
The best time of year to move is the one that fits your goals, budget, and timeline. Some parents prefer to move in summer, when school is out, while others move in winter to save money.
How can I help my child make friends when they don't want to try?
Be patient. Moving can be upsetting and every kid adjusts to the change at their own speed. The best thing you can do is provide them with encouragement and opportunities to socialize as they settle into their new community.
Is it normal for kids to regress after a move?
Major changes can trigger behaviors you thought your child had outgrown. Tantrums, clinginess, and trouble sleeping are common examples. Normally these behaviors decline as your kids familiarize themselves with their new environment. Providing extra reassurance and establishing a routine can help them feel more comfortable in their new surroundings.
How do I find kids' activities in a new city?
Contact your child’s school to see what extracurriculars they offer. Your community rec center or local sports leagues are also good resources. Most l provide information and schedules on their websites.
How many extracurricular activities should my child do after moving?
The best advice is to start with one activity they genuinely care about, which will help them meet other children while leaving them with enough time to explore their new community and spend time with family. Check in again after a few weeks to see how they’re doing and whether they feel comfortable with the other kids. Don’t assume that adding a second extracurricular activity will lead to a smoother or more friends. If they’re feeling homesick, a lighter schedule might give them more time to process their feelings.