Children and parents don’t always see eye to eye, but there’s at least one thing they can both agree on: starting over at a new school can be tough, especially after moving to a new city. Even if they are excited about meeting new teachers and classmates, many are understandably nervous about stepping into an unfamiliar environment. Kids arriving from out of town face an added layer of difficulty, since they don’t have friends nearby who they can turn to when they’re feeling lonely or upset. To help them adapt, we’ve compiled a list of ways to help your child adjust to a new school. While settling in is often a matter of time, following these tips can make the experience less overwhelming.
Talk To Them
Strong communication is key to any relationship, so make sure your kids know they can come to you with their concerns. Set aside some time to check in at least once a day. Ask about their assignments, teachers, and classmates. Be sympathetic and acknowledge their feelings, even if you think they might be giving their concerns more weight than they deserve. Instead of telling them everything is going to be fine, focus on statements like:
- “I can understand why you’re feeling nervous.”
- “It’s okay to feel this way.”
- “Everyone feels this way on their first day of school.”
Keep in mind that not every child is open with their feelings. Some react to stress by becoming moody and withdrawn. In these cases, do your best to draw them out by asking:
- “How are you feeling?”
- "You seem quiet today. Is there anything you want to talk about?”
- “You can tell me the truth. I want to know what’s going on.”
To make sure they feel heard, validate their feelings with affirming expressions such as:
- "I’m glad you told me how you feel."
- "Thank you for sharing that with me."
- "I’m glad you told me what’s bothering you."
Remember to pay attention to significant changes in mood or behavior, in case they’re indicative of a bigger problem. Also be sure to praise effort and adaptability along the way. Celebrate small milestones such as passing their first test, learning their classmate’s names, or getting chosen for the school’s sports team.
Stick to Your Old Routines
Maintaining familiar routines helps children feel secure during a move, so while your kids are getting used to the new faces, rules, and expectations at their new school, do your best to keep everything the same at home. While it may not be possible to recreate your old lifestyle exactly, do your best to:
- Wake your kids up at the same time as you did before.
- Serve them their regular breakfast.
- Coordinate similar drop off and pick up arrangements.
- Start their homework at the same time they did at their old school.
Schedules act like an emotional anchor, helping your kids relax, learn, and socialize without constantly worrying about what comes next. Routines and structure can even help reduce incidents of depression and misbehavior.
Encourage Healthy Sleep Habits
Sleep is essential to your child’s well being. Elementary school kids need 9-12 hours of sleep every night, while teenagers require 8-10. A good night's sleep isn’t just important for your children’s physical and cognitive development. Studies have also shown that lack of sleep can lead to depression, anxiety, and aggressive outbursts.
To help your child settle down and fall asleep, experts recommend:
- Setting a firm bedtime
- Putting electronics away at least one hour before lights out
- Avoiding coffee, soda, and other types of caffeinated drinks
- Keeping bedrooms cool, dark, and quiet
- Getting plenty of exercise during the day, preferably outdoors
- Reading your kids a bedtime story
Bedtime stories are particularly effective for younger children. It prevents them from ruminating about the next day, while the rhythmic sound of your voice triggers their body’s internal sleep system.
Talk to Their Teacher
Curricula and teaching styles can differ significantly between schools, which can sometimes make it hard for you kids to succeed in their new classroom. In this situation, one of the best things parents can do is reach out to the teacher.
Send them an email before the first day of school, letting them know your child is new and informing them of any issues they should be aware of, such as health conditions, learning style, and any behavioral items. Ask about the syllabus as well. Once you understand the lesson plan, you’ll be in a much better position to help your child adapt and become an active member of class.
Most teachers are happy to talk to parents, but ask you to be respectful of their time. Don’t pepper them with emails every day. Reach out once every 1-2 weeks instead. This should be enough for you to learn whether your kid is keeping pace with their classmates or needs additional support to catch up.
Take Advantage of Extracurricular Activities
Activities are one of the best ways to make friends, so encourage your kids to sign up for teams and clubs. Getting involved in the school community will introduce them to other children who share their interests, enabling them to integrate into the school’s social structure as smoothly as possible. It also helps them learn their school’s customs, traditions, and culture and develop school spirit, which has been shown to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.
If your son or daughter is shy or simply nervous about introducing themselves to new people, practice conversation starters. Focus on open-ended questions that invite people to share, such as:
- “Do you have any pets?”
- “What’s your favorite TV show?”
- “Have you ever played any cool games during recess?”
Compliments work equally well.
- “Cool backpack. Where did you get it?”
- “You’re really good at basketball. Do you play every day?”
- “Your drawing is really neat. How long have you been doing it?”
Remember that, when making friends, listening is just as important as talking, so remind your kids to pay attention and respond with encouraging comments like “That’s awesome!”
Final Thoughts
New schools can be intimidating, but with the right support, children usually adjust quickly. Good communication, structured routines, healthy habits, and after-school activities help kids work through their anxiety and find their footing both socially and academically.
North American Moving Services
As a full-service moving company, North American has been helping families relocate since 1933. From planning to packing to shipping, storage, and final delivery, we handle every aspect of your move from beginning to end — leaving you free to focus on your children and the exciting new chapter ahead. Contact us today for a free quote!